Its a foggy, gloomy day here in Modesto. I slept in an extra hour and then made calls about jobs, but no one's saying much. I cruise my daily job list sites, craigslist, centralvalleyjobs.com, careerbuilder, monster, alliancworknet...not much going on. I go check on my bank account, and then I check to see if my federal loan deferment paperwork has arrived along with my reduced payment paperwork for my private loans. I sit down and I make a list of things to try and fill my day up with something meaningful and productive.
Eat breakfast and take vitaminsClean room, put away laundryPut away suitcaseShower, dress, dry hair, put on makeup- Feed chickens
Turn in application to Scenic Nursery- Clean kitchen
Check for mid day job postingsReadWork on 2009 Label Tape ValentinesMake dinnerPut food away- Try and go for a walk
The job market here is pretty exclusive these days. Things that used to slide like bilingual and accumulated experience are being held to more stringently. A college degree doesn't seem to mean anything here. I am beginning to loath California (at least my little part) for its densely packed population, crumbling social infrastructure, above average unemployment rate and it's unnatural winter weather (unnatural to me). There isn't a house for 50 miles that I've looked at that I would want to buy. Everything in our most immediate price range (assuming we get good jobs and get on with life) is always a dump in a bad neighborhood. The houses we'd want with the acreage we'd like are always so close to their neighbors that you could spit on each other, even out in the country (if you can call it that here). I am trying to be patient, but I really hate Modesto. I like the friends that I've made, but I'm tired of living with my Mother In Law, and I am tired of being poor and unemployed. The things that hold me to this place are things that are out of my control, or are choices I make because I don't want to be separated from William...and I don't want to separate him from the things that he loves. He has pomegranate cuttings coming from UC Davis in March, he's working on his truck, and worm composting. He wants to have citrus and avocado trees....you can't grow those in NY. It is true that you can grow them in other arid states...so there's that. I guess I just feel like my life is moving so painfully slow...and that I'll be stuck here forever. I've gotten to the point where I don't care if I'm a Graphic Designer anymore, the fire has been wrung out of me. I don't care what I do as long as I'm making some money and can maybe get out of here. I guess this is what being an adult is kind of like...hard decisions in bad situations.
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